|Locations||The Inner Wolf Gym|
|Hit Points||75% of Monster Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie +3 (min 50, max 1000)|
|Defense||Player's Muscle +3 (min 50, max 1000)|
|Monster Parts||handle, treadmill|
This is a machine on which you run and run and run until you're covered in sweat and exhausted, but you never get anywhere. You don't even feel a pleasant breeze and enjoy the outdoors as you run; it's just a sad, solitary metaphor for the entirety of the human condition.
You get a stitch in your side! It hurts worse than anything you can imagine, and you regularly get pummeled into paste. Ooh! Oof!
You swing your arms as you run and clip the magazine holder on the front of the thing with your right fist. Ooh! Eek!
You try to drink from the water bottle in the treadmill's cup holder, but aspirate some of it and cough until you see spots. Ugh! Argh!
The soles of your feet start to ache from the pounding they're taking. You should get some of those individual-toe shoes. They're not creepy and wrong at all. Oof! Ow!
You get shin splints! It's like bees stinging your bones. Who would ever allow this to happen to themselves? Oof! Ugh!
Your foot lands funny on one stride and you roll your ankle. It's not a sprain, but it's not pleasant either. Ow! Oof!
You slip, lose the pace, lose your footing, and roll backwards off of the treadmill, smacking your head on the gym wall with a BOOM that reverberates through your skull.
You get a stitch in your side, but you breathe deeply and keep running and it goes away. Go you!
You swing your arms, whistle a tune, and try to get into rhythm.
You take a sip from the water bottle in the cup holder, and keep on jogging. You ponder whether you could put some French fries in there instead of a water bottle.
The soles of your feet ache a little from the running, but the flood of endorphins stops that right quick.
You're careful to stretch before you run so you don't get shin splints, because shin splints are the worst thing imaginable.
You almost roll your ankle, but save yourself with a funny little hop and a skip.
You manage to find the button that slows the treadmill down, and take a few minutes to walk and get your breath back. (FUMBLE!)
-3 Wolf Breath
|You acquire an item: sweatband (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: gym shorts (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: ankleweights (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: sweat socks (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: pint of sweat (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Jerks' Health™ Magazine (% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Five Second Energy™ (% chance)*|
Occurs at The Inner Wolf Gym.