Turtle Tamer/Old

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Male Female Tattoo Hardcore Tattoo Hardcore Oxygenarian Tattoo Legendary Regalia Tattoo Legendary Regalia Female Legendary Regalia Male

The Turtle Tamer class skill system was revamped on November 8, 2013. The following is an archive of the class page prior to the change.


  • (Male) The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. His Muscle is the key to his success, and to his long lifespan.
  • (Female) The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with her terrapin sisters imbues her with great power. She excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. Her Muscle is the key to her success, and to her long lifespan.


Most Turtle Tamer skills are learned from The Brotherhood of the Smackdown. All Turtle Tamers begin the game with Patience of the Tortoise and Toss.

Level Skill Description Effect Type MP Cost Train Cost
0 Tortpatience.gif
Patience of the Tortoise
By reflecting on the nature of the Tortoise, you can gain temporary enlightenment. Your Strengthliness and maximum HP will increase for a period of time. Patience of the Tortoise
(+1 Muscle and +3 HP)
(5 Adventures)
Non-combat 1 N/A
0 Toss.gif
This skill allows you to toss your familiar, if you have one, or something else, if you don't. Just make sure that something else isn't a dwarf -- nobody does that, y'know? Weight <7lbs:(weight+3) damage; otherwise: (10+floor(sqrt(weight-7))) damage Combat 1 N/A
1 Headbutt.gif
This skill allows you to follow up a successful attack with a vicious headbutt to your opponent. The damage done by the headbutt is increased if you're wearing any kind of turtle as a helmet. Regular Attack + 10-20% of helmet power (min 1) damage; bonus with turtle helmets Combat 3 250 Meat
2 Skin.gif
Skin of the Leatherback
This skill makes it so your back is thick, like leather. Like a leather back. Like a leatherback. You'll take less damage from enemy attacks. Reduces damage taken by floor(level/2), minimum 1 Passive N/A 500 Meat
3 Sympathy.gif
Amphibian Sympathy
Being sympathetic to the ins and outs of the amphibian lifestyle makes you more sympathetic to the lifestyles of all creatures. Your familiars will be more sympathetic and more powerful as a result of your powerful sympathy. +5 to Familiar Weight
-5 pounds to Inflatable Dodecapede
Passive N/A 1000 Meat
4 Ghosturtle.gif
Ghostly Shell
This skill conjures the shell of a ghostly tortoise, which envelops you (or another player) in a protective shield, greatly reducing damage taken in combat. Ghostly Shell
(+80 Damage Absorption)
(X Adventures)
Buff 6 1500 Meat
5 Hatpants.gif
This skill allows you to make advanced helmets and pants. Advanced pants. Allows you to make advanced Helmets, Pants, Shirts and Bucklers at the cost of 1 Adventure Passive N/A 2500 Meat
6 Snapper.gif
Tenacity of the Snapper
This skill makes you (or another player) relentless in combat, like the fierce Snapping Turtles of the Days of Old. It will increase the damage done by each strike. Tenacity of the Snapper
(+8 Weapon Damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 8 3500 Meat
7 Kneebutt.gif
If you can almost hear your opponent thinking "I need you to knee me," this is the perfect skill for you. Nothing takes an opponent down a notch (MAB!) more than a well-placed knee to the naughty bits. Combat 4 5000 Meat
8 Empathy.gif
Empathy of the Newt
This skill makes you (or another person) temporarily gain an uncanny empathy towards your (or their) familiar Empathy
(+5 to Familiar Weight)
(X Adventures)
Buff 15 6500 Meat
9 Scharm.gif
Reptilian Fortitude
By imbuing you with the physical strength of 1000 snakes and lizards, this skill temporarily boosts your maximum HP. Reptilian Fortitude
(+30 HP)
(X Adventures)
Buff 10 8000 Meat
10 Simpleshield.gif
We all know that a shield is primarily used to, y'know, shield one from damage. With this skill, though, your shield becomes a powerful weapon as well. Your attacks will do extra damage based on your shield power. Just try and resist the urge to change into a blue leotard with little wings on the cowl.
  • Damage based on shield
  • -5 Monster Attack
  • Never misses
  • Must be wearing a shield as your off-hand item
Combat 5 10000 Meat
11 Wisdom.gif
Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises
You have achieved a level of awareness that almost matches that of the Elder Tortoises in the Days of Old. Your maximum MP is dramatically increased. +50% MP Passive N/A 12500 Meat
12 Blackshell.gif
Astral Shell
This is a vastly improved version of the Ghostly Shell skill. It increases the amount of damage absorbed by your (or another player's) hat and pants in combat. Additionally, it will protect you (to a limited degree) from the elements of heat, cold, stench, spookiness, and sleaziness. Astral Shell
(+80 Damage Absorption)
Slight resistance to all elemental damage
(X Adventures)
Buff 10 15000 Meat
13 Blackskull.gif
Cold-Blooded Fearlessness
Ever wonder why turtles never run? It's because they're not afraid of anything, man. This skill will make you more like them -- spooky stuff won't spook you as much. So-So Spooky Resistance Passive N/A 20000 Meat
14 Halfshell.gif
Hero of the Half-Shell
Your mastery of shields has elevated you to hero-like status amongst your tortoise brethren. Your skills have the beauty and balance of a Renaissance painting. As such, whenever you take damage in combat, your Muscle will be used to reduce the damage you take instead of Moxie, whenever you are wielding a shield.

NOTE: This will only take effect if your Muscle is higher than your Moxie.
Damage Reduction normally influenced by Moxie is based on Muscle when wearing a shield (Unless your Moxie is higher) Passive N/A 25000 Meat
15 Tao.gif
Tao of the Terrapin
Like hippies, turtles live in their clothes. Unlike hippies, turtles' clothes provide a hard protective shell for their sensitive innards. Well, unlike hippies who are only on day fifteen of a new outfit. You have sufficiently pondered the mystery of the turtle, whose clothes are both home and protection, to understand how to imbue your clothing with the same properties. As such, any hat or pants you equip will be doubled in power. Now go take a shower, hippy. Doubles power of hats and pants for the purposes of calculating Damage Absorption and Tamer combat skills. Passive N/A 30000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A Ssnapper.gif
Spectral Snapper
This skill allows you to summon the spirit of a deceased snapping turtle. (10-40) + (Muscle/5) Spooky Damage Combat 20 N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A Leviatuga.gif
Summon Leviatuga
You've learned to call upon Leviatuga, the Great Turtle of the Deep. He'll heed your call, and bite your enemies with his ancient, powerful jaws. 300-350 damage; works only underwater Combat 40 N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A Jinglebells.gif
Jingle Bells
This skill allows you to conjure up some festive holiday bells to hang around your familiar's neck. Or around something else, if your familiar is something that doesn't have a neck. Jingle Jangle Jingle
(Familiar will act more often in combat)
(x Adventures)
Buff 5 N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A Turtle.gif
Curiosity of Br'er Tarrypin
This skill allows you to bestow upon yourself (or another player) the homespun wisdom and innate curiosity of an anthropomorphic turtle in a folk tale. Curiosity of Br'er Tarrypin
(+1 Familiar Experience Per Combat)
(x Adventures)
Buff 10 N/A


The amount of Muscle required to attain level L follows the formula Muscle = L2 - 2L+ 5.

Class-Specific Powers

  • +50% HP: Turtle Tamers (and Seal Clubbers) have an innate 50% bonus to their maximum HP.
  • Turtle Taming: Turtle Tamers can use turtle pheromones to find various turtle items around the Kingdom with no Adventure cost.
  • Butt Combos: Turtle Tamers can combine Head-, Knee-, and/or Shieldbutt into one attack, with all the effects of each part of the combo. The MP cost for any combo is the total cost of all skills involved plus 1, affected only once by Skill MP Cost Modifiers.
  • Turtle Tamers who have passed their guild's test can access The Smacketeria and, if they have learned Pulverize, use The Malus of Forethought.
  • Turtle Tamers can cast Toss in combat for 0 MP.
  • The Untamed Turtle's attack-blocking ability is more powerful if you are a Turtle Tamer.

Class Gear


  • A totem is required to cast Turtle Tamer buffs. The totem used determines the number of adventures granted per cast:
  • If a specific totem is wielded, it will be used to cast all buffs. Otherwise, the best totem in the player's inventory will be automatically selected.


  • Many Turtle Tamers use their high muscle stat to fight with melee attacks, aided by their buffs.


  • Turtle Tamers received their level 13 skill on March 5, 2006, and a more thorough skill revamp on March 15, 2006.


Seal Clubber
Turtle Tamer
Disco Bandit
Accordion Thief