Uncle Crimbo
This page is about the NPC. For the special boss fight from Crimbo 2010, see Uncle Crimbo (2010).
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Uncle Crimbo (#666) Level 11 Reindeer Threatener |
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Uncle Crimbo (#666) has been the Kingdom's version of Santa Claus. Father Crimbo coordinated Crimbo in 2003 and 2004. It has been revealed that Father Crimbo passed away, and Uncle Crimbo, his brother, took over his duties. Uncle Crimbo placed Advent Calendars in the campground of every player in the kingdom for Crimbo on December 1 from 2005 to 2008 and in 2011.
Contents
2006
On October 31st, 2006, Uncle Crimbo notified the adventurers of the Kingdom of Loathing through the Crimboween memo that Uncle Crimbo and his helpers were running Halloween this year instead of the Scream Queen. On December 1st, 2006, A Lonely Crimbo Elf appeared in The Big Mountains. When spoken to, he sends you on a quest to Save Uncle Crimbo!
2007
He gave out 100 rounds of a buff called The Spirit of Crimbo to players in chat on 25th December 2007.
2008
During Crimbo 2008, Uncle Crimbo passed control of the holiday over to Don Pygoscelis and the Penguin Mafia for taking care of The Crimbomination.
2010 (and early 2011)
Shortly before Crimbo 2010, he resurfaced leading a a group of homeless elves living in Hobopolis.
On December 25, 2010, some players received the following message and items:
Hey, kid. My elves have started to infiltrate CRIMBCO, and we're making our move soon, but for now we've got to lie low. Did you know that Mr. Mination wasn't planning on giving out any presents? He planned on just having you guys buy each other presents so he didn't have to do any work. What kind of a Crimbo monarch doesn't hand out presents?
Anyway, this is the best I could do with the stuff my hobo elves stole for me. Happy Crimbo, kid. I hope I can count on you when the time comes.
 | You acquire an item: stapler bear |
 | You acquire an item: adhesive tape dolly |
 | You acquire an item: scissor duck |
At the end of Crimbo 2010, Uncle Crimbo reclaimed his hat and position as monarch of Crimbo from Mr. Mination. Mr. Mination was transformed back into a group of very confused elves.
On January 14, 2011, some players received the following message and item:
Hey, kid, the elves were going through Mr. Mination's files, and we saw that you were pretty generous with this whole Covert Crimbo thing, and maybe the person who was buying you gifts, not so much.
I'm a guy who knows a little something about always giving out presents and not getting much in return, so I figure you could use a little payback. So I thought about having some of my old Mafia penguin buddies pay your CCB a visit, but then I remembered the spirt of the holiday and all that crap, and I just whipped up a sackload of presents for you.
No need to thank me, unless you want to thank me in booze. Nah, just kidding. I've got the elves working hard on building me a distillery, so I'm good.
 | You acquire an item: Uncle Crimbo's Sack |
2011
On Crimbo Day he sent messages (to all?) players with a tradable gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Saturday, December 24, 2011, 11:53PM
- Hey, kid. Thanks for helping me out with the candy crisis. Have yourself a Merry Crimbo, would ya?
You acquire an item: gummi bowtie
You acquire an item: fudge pocket square
You acquire an item: lollipop cufflinks
2012 (and early 2013)
On Crimbo Day he sent messages to all players with a tradable gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Monday, December 24, 2012, 07:36PM
- Hey, kid, thanks for your help with those screwy animelfs. Don't worry; I've got a new contract with the Crimbo elves and we should have a nice peaceful Crimbo next year. In fact, they're all busy refitting the factory with robotic workers to help out, so we can make the toys faster! I can't imagine anything going wrong with that.
- Anyway, here's a little something the Crimbo elves whipped up for you. Enjoy it, kid; you earned it.
You acquire an item: Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword
On January 4, 2013 (or the next time a player logged in), he sent those players who helped to defeat the MechaElf a message:
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Friday, January 4, 2013, 4:02PM
- Hey, kid. Thanks again for your help with that robot business. Here's a belated token of my appreciation, and a souvenir of your big fight. Enjoy, and see you next year!
You acquire an item: Deactivated MiniMechaElf 
You acquire an item: Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
2013
On Crimbo Day he sent messages to all players with an untradable gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Monday, December 24, 2013, 10:39PM
- Hey, kid, thanks for helping out this year with the Warbear thing. I mean, I assume you're helping, because just about everyone is, and honestly I can't go checking some dumb list twice just to make sure only the helpers get a present.
- Here's a small token of my esteem. I mean, really small. But hey, it's a Crimbo pressie, what are you going to do, complain it's not good enough?
You acquire an item: festive warbear bank
2014
A few days after Crimbo Day he sent messages to all players with an untradeable gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Sunday, December 28, 2014, 06:59AM
- Hey, like, thanks again for rescuing me, <playername>. I'm having a pretty mellow time here in the woods. I met these guys, and they're really great. They're letting me crash with them for a while. The floor's kinda dirty, but, y'know, whatever. It's natural.
- Oh, I almost forgot -- they taught me how to make these things. I thought you might like one.
- Anyway, I hope you have a relaxing year, and I totally can't wait for next Crimbo.
You acquire an item: red and green rain stick
2015
A few days after Crimbo Day he sent messages to all players with a gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Tuesday, December 29, 2015, 06:14AM
- Dear <playername>,
- I hope this message finds you well, and at peace. May your coming year be filled with joy and love for all life, and free of strife and material desire. My gift to you is this sturdy canvas shopping bag. You may wish to meditate on the fact that, though its physical form gives it shape and substance, it is the emptiness within it that makes it useful.
- Ho ho ho,
- Uncle Crimbo
You acquire an item: reusable shopping bag
2016
After Crimbo Day he sent messages to all players with a gift.
- From Uncle Crimbo
- Date: Sunday, December 25, 2016, 08:23AM
- Dear <playername>,
- Thank you again for your help this year, and in fact every year. Without your help, truly, none of this would have been possible. Here's a little something to remember me by, and may the spirit of Crimbo live on in your heart throughout your days.
- Ho ho ho,
- Uncle Crimbo
You acquire an item: Uncle Crimbo's hat
Notes
- His account was created on December 25, 0.
- The actual account creation date is November 30th, 2005.
- If Uncle Crimbo is somewhat a KoL version of Santa Claus, his birth is different from Santa Claus'. The first references about him begin with Saint Nicholas of Myra, who lived in the fourth century AD.
- It was Xenophobe's idea for Uncle Crimbo's player number to be 666.
- His favorite food is plate of franks and beans and favorite booze is flask of peppermint schnapps, having consumed 1,000 of each according to his profile.
- He has 10 turns played on his account.
