Vegetable gremlin

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Vegetable gremlin
Monster ID 550
Locations Next to that Barrel with Something Burning in it, Out By that Rusted-Out Car; The Junkyard (Post-War)
Hit Points 170
Attack 168
Defense 154
Initiative 60
Meat 40-60
Phylum humanoid
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
gremlin juice, gremlin mutagen (if Retrieve Yossarian's Tools was completed as a Frat Boy), extra-potent gremlin mutagen (if Retrieve Yossarian's Tools was completed as a Hippy)
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
vegetable gremlin You're fighting a vegetable gremlin

This isn't a gremlin in a permanent vegetative state -- that would be not particularly threatening, and in stunningly poor taste. No, it's a gremlin that some mad scientist was using to test genetic splicing for plants. So it's your basic slimy, green, fanged, clawed monstrosity, only with cabbages, tomatoes, and carrots growing off of it at odd angles. Science!

Hit Message(s):

It feeds you tomatoes and radio wire. The tomatoes don't hurt, but the radio wire sticks in your throat. Ugh! Ow!

It pummels you with a head of cabbage. It doesn't hurt, but then a stork swoops down and grabs the cabbage, biting your knee in the process. Ooh! Ow!

It throws six or seven tomatoes at you in rapid succession. You feel like a really bad comedian or an unpopular politician delivering a speech. Ugh! Ow!

It stabs you in the calf with a carrot. At least your night vision will improve, so even in the dead of night you can see how badly you're bleeding. Ooh! Ouch! Eek!

Non-quest Identifying Messages

It picks a beet off of itself and beats you with it. You wish it would have let the beet drop instead. Ooh! Argh!

It picks a radish off of itself and tosses it at you. You get run over by a horse. Eek! Ow! Ouch! Oof! Oof! Ouch! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):


He tries to you[sic] in the <arse>, but misses.

After Combat

Potion6.gifYou acquire an item: gremlin juice (2.9% chance)*

If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Frat

Potion7.gifYou acquire an item: gremlin mutagen (4.3% chance)*

If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Hippy

Potion7.gifYou acquire an item: extra-potent gremlin mutagen (5.3% chance)*
You gain 42 <substat>.

Occurs at The Junkyard.



  • The hit message about tomatoes and radio wire refers to the climactic verse of the song "Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2" from the album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel.
  • The actual Gremlin in question comes from the movie Gremlins 2: The New Batch where Billy has moved to New York and works in a high-rise catering to various companies, one of them a gene-splicing lab.
  • The hit message about having the beet drop is a reference to the Beastie Boys song "Intergalactic", as one of the most famous lyrics is "Beastie Boys known to let the beat drop", with extreme emphasis on the last part.
  • The hit message about the beet dropping may also refer to the beet in-game item which no longer drops.
  • The hit message about being pummeled with a cabbage followed by a stork swooping down and grabbing the cabbage is a reference to Skully's elaborate description of 'where babies come from' from one of the radio shows. According to him, babies are made 'when a stork and a cabbage love each other very much...'
  • The attack message involving being trampled by a horse after it throws a radish at you may be a reference to horseradish.
  • The hit message involving the screwdriver references a cocktail consisting of vodka and orange juice.
  • The hit message involving a carrot is a reference to the white lie that if a kid doesn't eat his carrots he won't be able to see in the dark. It may also be a reference to the fact that when planes started using radar, their use was hidden by claims of pilots eating carrots and getting super night-vision.