War Hippy Dread Squad

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War Hippy Dread Squad
Monster ID 410
Locations The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points 300
Attack 170
Defense 153
No-Hit 180
Initiative 20
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance 25%
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, didgeridooka, Lockenstock™ sandals, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, tube of dread wax
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Hippy Dread Squad You're fighting a War Hippy Dread Squad

This is one of the armored units from the hippy army -- in this case, that means a hippy with his girlfriend on his shoulders, both of whom have reinforced their long, nappy dreadlocks with several layers of filthy wax. The guy on the bottom is also carrying a digeridooka, a weapon for creating incredibly boring music and incredibly explosive rockets.

Usually these units are deployed to allow short women to see better at interminable jam-band concerts, but this one seems to be intent on beating you down.

Hit Message(s):

She whips you with her ratty blonde dreadlocks. Wait, blonde dreadlocks? Argh! Ouch! Ouch! Eek! Argh! Ow! (stench damage)

He launches a missile from his digeridooka. It explodes with so many amazing colors, man. Oh, and a lot of pain. Ooh! Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Argh!

She scratches you with her crusty fingernails. Ew. Ouch! Oof! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

She kicks out and hits you in the <solar plexus> with one filthy sandal-clad foot. Oof! Ugh! Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Oof!

She raises her arms above her head. The dense thatch of hair under her arms gives off a stench that knocks you backward. Eek! Oof! Oof! Argh! Ow! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The bottom hippy kicks you repeatedly in the shins, while his shoulder-mounted girlfriend slaps you and scratches you with her crusty fingernails. You're going to need a battery of shots after this. Or maybe one shot of battery acid. Ooh! Argh! Oof! Oof! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to fire his digeridooka at you, but he can't seem to properly circular-breathe.

She raises her arms above her head, but the thick mat of hair there keeps her stench from escaping.

She tries to kick you, but her sandal flies off and she has to go look for it.

She tries to scratch you, but suddenly gets an itch in her nest of dreadlocks and has to scratch it, instead.

Fumble Message:

She charges forward, dreads flying and unsupported breasts flopping. Fortunately, her ride trips and she falls off of his shoulders. They have to re-mount before they can attack. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Bpcords.gifYou acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (2.0% chance)*
Chimes.gifYou acquire an item: communications windchimes (2.8% chance)*
Digeridoo.gifYou acquire an item: didgeridooka (20.1% chance)*
Sandals.gifYou acquire an item: Lockenstock™ sandals (1.9% chance)*
Warheadband.gifYou acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (1.7% chance)*
Roundglasses.gifYou acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (1.5% chance)*
Tube.gifYou acquire an item: tube of dread wax (15.3% chance)*
You gain 42-43 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).