War Hippy F.R.O.G.

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War Hippy F.R.O.G.
Monster ID 485
Locations The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points 205
Attack 180
Defense 166
No-Hit 190
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, oversized pipe, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, wicker shield, pink clay bead
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Hippy F.R.O.G. You're fighting a War Hippy F.R.O.G.

This is a member of the famously stinky Gaia's Armpit unit of the Hippy Army (An Army of One Love). In particular, this one is from the F.R.O.G. division, which stands for Fairly Rotten Oral hyGiene. These commandos undergo intense training in eating raw garlic and onions, going days without brushing their teeth, and taking extra-long naps for super-nasty morning breath. A green fog surrounds this guy as he steps up to yawn at you.

Hit Message(s):

He sneezes on you. It's both stinky and highly unsanitary. Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Ow! Oof! Argh! (stench damage)

He stuffs a clove of garlic in your mouth. Even though you're not a vampire, it burns. Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Oof! Oof! (stench damage)

He sighs loudly in your direction. Plants wilt all around you, and your soul dies a little. Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Argh! (stench damage)

He gives up huffing and puffing at you and just whips you with his dreadlocks. You're not sure they smell any better than his mouth, though. Ugh! Ow! Ouch! Argh! Ow! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He produces a raw bulb of garlic, takes a big bite out of it, then delivers the entire Gettysburg Address in one belch. You're dizzy by "conceived in liberty..." Ugh! Eek! Ow! Ooh! Ow! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tries to sneeze on you, but you say "Gesundheit!" from a safe distance.

He tries to stuff some garlic in your mouth, but you keep your lips zipped.

He exhales in your direction, but you hold your breath until the cloud passes.

He tries to whip you with his dreadlocks, but catches a whiff of his own breath and passes out.

Fumble Message:

He pulls out a clove of garlic and eats it in one bite. It turns out, though, that some practical joker in the infantry replaced the garlic with peppermint gum. He recoils in horror and spits it out. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Bpcords.gifYou acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (5.6% chance)*
Chimes.gifYou acquire an item: communications windchimes (2.5% chance)*
Leadpipe.gifYou acquire an item: oversized pipe (16.7% chance)*
Rankbead1.gifYou acquire an item: pink clay bead (31.1% chance)*
Warheadband.gifYou acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (5.9% chance)*
Roundglasses.gifYou acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (6.1% chance)*
Wickershield.gifYou acquire an item: wicker shield (6.5% chance)*
Bong.gifYou acquire an item: water pipe bomb (9.9% chance)*
You gain 45 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).