War Hippy Homeopath

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War Hippy Homeopath
Monster ID 490
Locations The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points 200
Attack 170
Defense 157
No-Hit 180
Initiative 30
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
communications windchimes, filthy poultice, hippy medical kit, Lockenstock™ sandals, natural fennel soda
Manuel holistic headache remedy
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Hippy Homeopath You're fighting a War Hippy Homeopath

This is a hippy that knows that all ailments, including injuries, are caused not by microorganisms or physical trauma, but by disturbances to the vital life energy that keeps us whole and in tune with Gaia.

The Army of One Love™ employs them as medics. I guess somebody has to.

Hit Message(s):

She coats your face with a foul-smelling poultice, saying, "this ferret-guano-garlic mask will take years off your face." And your life. Eek! Ouch! Ugh! (stench damage)

She rubs a pineapple rind over your cuts and scrapes, saying she needs to enlarge them to let the healing power in. Ow! Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Ooh!

She rips a strip off of the burlap sack she's wearing and uses it to clean your wounds. Yeow! Eek! Ugh! Ouch! Ouch!

She attaches several leeches on various parts of your body. You feel a little woozy. Ugh! Ow! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

She mixes together some leaves, gravel, bits of bark, and (cruelty-free) honey, then rubs it all over. Your chakras align and your aura lightens, but the gravel was pretty scratchy. Argh! Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

She attaches a leech to your calf, but you're used to leeches from the many family reunions you've attended.

She rubs guava all over your face. It doesn't hurt, and your skin does seem a little softer afterward.

She tries to coat you with a foul-smelling ointment, but you point out there's a fly in the ointment.

She tries to salve your wounds, but you prefer to be an unsalved mystery.

Fumble Message:

She mixes up a foul-smelling poultice and advances toward you. Fortunately, she catches a whiff of it and passes out. Whew! (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Chimes.gifYou acquire an item: communications windchimes (3.0% chance)*
Poultice.gifYou acquire an item: filthy poultice (15.6% chance)*
Medkit.gifYou acquire an item: hippy medical kit (18.4% chance)*
Sandals.gifYou acquire an item: Lockenstock™ sandals (2.6% chance)*
Beerbottle.gifYou acquire an item: natural fennel soda (10.6% chance)*
You gain 42-43 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).