War Hippy Rigger

War Hippy Rigger
Monster ID	484
Locations	The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points	185
Attack	172
Defense	154
No-Hit	182
Initiative	40
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops bullet-proof corduroys, hippy protest button, oversized pipe, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, wicker shield
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a War Hippy Rigger

This is one of the hippies of the 1965th infantry division, or "Jerry's Riggers," as they've come to be called. They're renowned for their ability to make a bomb out of pretty much anything they find lying around.

Hit Message(s):

He makes a bomb out of an avocado, an ice pick, and a snorkel, and lobs it at you. It doesn't explode, but the ice pick pokes your skull. Icy! Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

He makes a bomb out of a soda bottle and a roll of peppermints and lobs it at you. It explodes, filling you with minty-fresh shrapnel. Ugh! Ow! Ouch! Oof! Ooh!

He makes a bomb out of a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew, and some foil, and lobs it at you. It doesn't explode, but the corkscrew skewers your leg. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Oof!

He makes a bomb out of a plastic bag and a little plastic bear full of honey and lobs it at you. It doesn't explode, but scraping the honey off hurts. Argh! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

The hippy screams over his shoulder "Tango Hotel Charlie! Tango Hotel Charlie!" and several nearby hippies lob water pipe bombs at you. They all explode simultaneously, covering you with foul-smelling water and shards of broken glass. Oof. Eek! Ugh! Eek! Ugh! Oof! Ugh! Ooh! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He makes a bomb out of a soda bottle and a roll of peppermints, but it explodes in his hands before he can throw it.

He starts to make a bomb out of a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew, and some foil, but can't find his corkscrew.

He starts to make a bomb out of an avocado, an ice pick, and a snorkel, but some weird fat dude steals his snorkel.

He starts to make a bomb out of a plastic bag and a little plastic bear full of honey, but decides to chug the honey instead.

Fumble Message:

He produces another water pipe bomb to throw at you, but it must be defective, because it starts spewing clouds of smoke. He breathes in the smoke, coughs a little, and starts staring at his hands. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (9.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: hippy protest button (10.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: oversized pipe (10.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (10.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (10.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: water pipe bomb (5.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: wicker shield (4.9% chance)*

You gain 43 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).

References

• "Tango Hotel Charlie" is the NATO phonetic alphabet spelling of THC, a well known psychoactive found in cannabis.
• The miss message about a "weird fat dude" stealing a snorkel is a reference to the Weird Al Yankovic song "Albuquerque", in which a "big fat hermaphrodite with a 'Flock of Seagulls' haircut and one nostril" steals the protagonist's snorkel.
• Making a bomb out of soda and peppermints refers to the Mentos eruption fad.
• Making a bomb out of an avocado, an ice pick, and a snorkel is a reference to the movie Half Baked, in which they talk about the different types of people that smoke weed, and the one in the miss message is the guy who can make a bong out of anything.
• "Jerry's Riggers" is both a reference to jury-rigging (also known as jerry-rigging) and to Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead, arguably the greatest hippy icon in the world.
• Jerry Rigger of 1965th division might be a reference of Jolly Roger's The Anarchist Cookbook. The author learned how to make explosives during the Vietnam War and he decided put instructions into a book in protest against being drafted into a war in which he didn't believe.
• The honey bomb may be a reference to Matt Ruff's novel Fool on the Hill which contains a scene where a delusional man thinking he's Christopher Robin builds a bomb-looking device that launches honey drops over a wide area.