War Hippy Sky Captain

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War Hippy Sky Captain
Monster ID 412
Locations The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
Hit Points 200
Attack 185
Defense 157
No-Hit 195
Initiative 70
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, exploding hacky-sack, ferret bait, Lockenstock™ sandals, patchouli oil bomb, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, water pipe bomb, pink clay bead
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
War Hippy Sky Captain You're fighting a War Hippy Sky Captain

This hippy is an officer in the airborne wing of the Hippy Army (whose motto is "We're Like, So High, Man"). Since the hippies don't have any airplanes or balloons, and all their zeppelins are made of lead, their airborne wing consists of sugar-addled ferrets strapped into mini-biplanes. It's the kind of idea you can only think up when you've eaten way too many herbal brownies.

Hit Message(s):

She whips you with her ratty blonde dreadlocks. Wait, blonde dreadlocks? Argh! Ow! Oof! Ouch! Eek!

She scratches you with her crusty fingernails. You'd better hope she's had all her shots. Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh! (stench damage)

She tosses a piece of ferret bait at you. A ferret swoops down from the sky and does a scratching strafe-run. Ouch! Ow! Eek! Ugh! Argh!

She tosses a piece of ferret bait at you. A ferret swoops down and makes a bowel-movement bombing run. Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Ugh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

She throws a double handful of ferret bait at you. Dozens of ferrets swoop down from the sky and rip your flesh, just like weasels. You get a tune stuck in your head, and it goes "AIEEEE! Get 'em off me!"Argh! Ouch! Eek! Ow! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

She tosses a piece of ferret bait at you, but you distract the attacking ferret with a shiny object.

She tries to whip you with her dreadlocks, but you've got a lock on dodging and a dread for getting hit with them.

She tosses a piece of ferret bait at you, but you don't take the bait and dodge the ferret.

She tries to scratch you with her crusty fingernails, but can't seem to nail you down.

Fumble Message:

She runs out of ferret bait, so all her winged minions just circle overhead, poinging happily and occasionally piddling in her hair. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Bpcords.gifYou acquire an item: bullet-proof corduroys (0.6% chance)*
Chimes.gifYou acquire an item: communications windchimes (2.3% chance)*
Ferretbait.gifYou acquire an item: ferret bait (20% chance)*
Sandals.gifYou acquire an item: Lockenstock™ sandals (2.0% chance)*
Rankbead1.gifYou acquire an item: pink clay bead (30% chance)*
Warheadband.gifYou acquire an item: reinforced beaded headband (0.7% chance)*
Roundglasses.gifYou acquire an item: round purple sunglasses (0.6% chance)*
Bong.gifYou acquire an item: water pipe bomb (10% chance)*
Bong.gifYou acquire an item: water pipe bomb (10% chance)*
Patchbomb.gifYou acquire an item: patchouli oil bomb (20% chance)*
Hackeysack.gifYou acquire an item: exploding hacky-sack (20% chance)*
You gain 46-47 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).



  • The critical hit is a reference to the Weird Al song Albuquerque. It is also a reference to the Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention album, "Weasels Ripped My Flesh".
  • The line "All their zeppelins are made of lead" is a reference to Led Zeppelin.
  • The flying ferrets may be a reference to an XKCD strip.
  • The ferrets poinging may be a reference to the webcomic Sluggy Freelance. Specifically, it is the word that appears under Riff's pet ferret Kiki when Kiki jumps.
  • The motto in the description may be a reference to the United States Air Force, who once used "Aim High" as a recruiting slogan.