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WereProfessor is the Spring 2024 special challenge path, introduced on February 15th, 2024. This path adds variant rules and restrictions to an ascension run. Its description in The Bureau of Reincarnation reads "You are a kindly professor inflicted with a horrible curse."


  • None of your permed skills are available.
  • You don't play as any of the six basic classes and have no guild access or access to any area requiring guild access.
  • Differing restrictions depending on whether you are currently a WereProfessor or WereBeast.
  • The Campground is replaced with Your Humble Cottage.
  • You cannot adventure in The Sea. Attempting to talk to An Old Man gives the following message:
That shack you saw on the main map was just a picture of a shack drawn on the ground.



  • You play as a hybrid class of professor and beast.
    • In your first ascension, you start as a beast in The coffee was *gasp* decaf!.
    • After that, you start as a professor for one combat, allowing you to spend research points on beast upgrades.
  • After at least 50 turns as a beast, you transform into a professor at the end of the next combat via a chained non-combat Hang On to Yourself.
  • You then have 50 turns as a professor. After at least 50 turns, you transform into a beast at the end of the next combat via a chained non-combat Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges.

As a WereProfessor:

  • You have the intrinsic Mild-Mannered Professor
    • -25% Combat Frequency modifier
    • Your stats are limited to 1 Muscle, 5 Mysticality, and 1 Moxie.
      • Despite the higher Mysticality, Muscle is your primary stat.
      • Although your stats are capped by the Intrinsic, minimum stat requirements are still observed. Although the outfit-equipping commands will not work, you can still equip individual parts if you have the required stat values.
    • Your HP is limited to 1 and cannot be raised by any means.
    • You can't use basic attacks or skills in combat.
    • You can always run from combat
  • Collect 1 research at the start of every combat.
  • With the right Tinkering Bench equipment, you can spend a round to gain extra research points once from each monster species.
  • Your normal campground is replaced by Your Humble Cottage:
    • Beast skills must be unlocked at Research Bench. Most skills are only active as a beast, except for organ size increases.
    • You can build professor equipment at Tinkering Bench from smashed scientific equipment.
    • You can use an adventure to produce 5 research in the cottage.
    • You can rest in your bed.
  • The crafted equipment allows increased research and survivability while a professor.

As a WereBeast:

  • You have the intrinsic Savage Beast
    • +25% Combat Frequency modifier
    • Regenerate 1 HP per Adventure
    • After winning combats against beasts, heals 25% of your max HP:
      • You feast on the corpse of your prey.
    • You cannot run away from combat. (This includes free runaways and banishes, which will keep you in the fight)
      • A beast doesn't run.
    • Any upgrades you research as professor are added to the intrinsic effects.
  • You can't access most NPC stores: "As you approach the store, someone slams the door, flips the sign to closed and scurries away."
    • The Hermit is a notable exception (although you can't directly purchase chewing gums on strings).
    • The Trapper will talk to you as a beast during his quest, but will suddenly become scared of you after the quest.
    • The Level 12 war camps' item exchanges are also exceptions.
    • The Organic Produce Stand, however, is not an exception: after you return the heart of the filthworm queen, the location will be closed to the Beast. However, the quest will still count as completed.
  • You can't access Your Humble Cottage.
    • That coward has locked you out of your own house. Curses!
  • Smashed scientific equipment, the quest item currency for the Tinkering Bench, must be collected as a beast from The Antiscientific Method found in different zones.


  • To start out with, you have only 5 stomach and 4 liver.
  • Stomach and liver capacity can be upgraded as a professor, up to 14 stomach and 13 liver.
  • The steel margarita can be obtained and consumed and grants the skill Liver of Steel as usual, bringing maximum liver capacity to 18.


WereProfessor learns no skills; instead, the Mild-Mannered Professor researches upgrades to the Savage Beast intrinsic. Research is available at Your Humble Cottage via a non-apparent system of three trees, unlocked by spending Research Points. Most of the upgrades will only affect your Savage Beast form; the exception are the skills that upgrade liver and stomach capacity.

  • At the start of every combat as the Mild-Mannered Professor, you gain 1 Research Point.
  • With a Biphasic molecular oculus equipped, Advanced Research can be cast once per ascension against each monster, granting +5 Research Points.
  • With a Triphasic molecular oculus equipped, Advanced Research instead grants +10 Research Points.
  • Completing a normal-difficulty WereProfessor ascension grants +50 starting Research Points, hardcore WereProfessor ascension grants +100 starting Research Points, and each research fragment used grants 50 immediate and starting Research Points. Start-of-the-run bonus is limited to 1150 total Research Points.

In the following table, learning any research is dependent on having learned all research directly above it of the same stat.

Research Points Muscle
10 +20% Muscle
20 +30% Muscle
30 +50% Muscle
20 Claw Attack +20% HP
30 More Claw damage +30% HP
40 Claw restores HP +50% HP
40 5 DR 3 stomach capacity
50 10 DR 3 stomach capacity
60 15 DR 3 stomach capacity
100 Slaughter
(devastating and instantaneous physical attack)
+8-10 HP regen The Beast consumes additional phyla
(Dudes, Hippies, Hobos, Humanoids, Orcs, Pirates)
Research Points Mysticality
10 +20% Mysticaltiy
20 +30% Mysticaltiy
30 +50% Mysticaltiy
20 Elemental Bite +2 prismatic resistance
30 Second Bite element +2 prismatic resistance
40 More Bite damage +2 prismatic resistance
40 +25% Item Drop +10 Monster Level
50 +25% Item Drop +15 Monster Level
60 +25% Item Drop +25 Monster Level
100 Howl
(3-turn stun)
Regenerate more HP after consuming a monster (50% instead of 25%)
Research Points Moxie
10 +20% Moxie
20 +30% Moxie
30 +50% Moxie
20 Weakening Kick +50% Combat Initiative
30 Kick delevels more +50% Combat Initiative
40 Kick stuns +100% Combat Initiative
40 +25% Meat Drop 3 liver capacity
50 +50% Meat Drop 3 liver capacity
60 +75% Meat Drop 3 liver capacity
100 Punt
(40-adv banish)
+5 Stats from fights Everything will Look Red for less time

Skillbooks cannot be used:

You only trust skills you research yourself.


In WereBeast form, you encounter bestial versions of the usual bosses:

As a WereProfessor, the bosses are unchanged.

After freeing King Ralph, your adventure ends with "Moonlighting"


The path council text was briefly unavailable at the launch of the path. It has not been changed from the vanilla text. It is unknown why this is.



  • For the first 50 turns of your first run, you are quite limited in power with no skills, no access to NPC shops, and no campground.
  • Professors are very limited in combat and must either use combat items, research, or flee.
    • If you can survive a round, remember to research before fleeing, if you are fleeing.
  • Running high amounts of +ML (>25) will cause elemental monsters to knock out the professor immediately, so watch out!
  • Beasts gradually become more powerful and unlock strong skills, potentially including a banish and a psuedo-olfaction.
  • There are several ways to kill monsters as a Professor:


Moon Sign

Astral gear and consumables

  • With low progression or even no progression, the astral hot dog might be a good choice to help with early leveling. Players used to using the model train set should also consider the hot dogs.
  • The astral pilsners are a solid choice for those with enough progression to level up easily.
  • The astral pets can help you fill in holes before you've unlocked "skills" via Research.
    • The astral mask can help with you with item drops before you unlock your passive item drops, and remains useful even after then.


Softcore-specific advice

  • Equipment items like the F.L.U.D.A can help you with your lack of skills before you've researched them.
  • As hermit access is delayed, a 11-leaf clover can be pulled if you need one earlier.
  • You could pull a combat item if you need to fight as a professor but have no other method of combat.


  • Finishing a WereProfessor run while it is the current special challenge path -- between February 15th, 2024 and May 14th, 2024 -- gives players 50 (in Normal) or 100 (in Hardcore) extra karma points the next time they visit Valhalla.
  • Finishing a run will grant you 50 (in Normal) or 100 (in Hardcore) permanent research points to start with on your next WereProfessor ascension, allowing up to 1150 points in total.
  • A class tattoo is obtained when starting the path.
  • The corresponding hardcore tattoo was not available until some time on or before March 14 2024.
  • Players will receive a Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette upon defeating the final boss.


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