Bait and Switch
You sneak into a nearby yurt and see a young hippy cadet who's supposed to be guarding several boxes full of ferret bait. Something tells you that he's not doing a very good job, though, and that something is the loud snoring coming from under his filthy knitted dread sack. Several possible courses of action rush through your head. "Tie hamsters to balloons and send them around the world as messengers of peace and love" sounds fun, but impractical, so you focus on the following three:
| Take the bait and go wreak havoc |
The majestic frat boys have given you a licence to kill, and you're on their majesty's secret service. You want to scare the living daylights out of some hippies. You climb up one of the yurts and perch on the roof. If the hippies find you, they'll kill you -- but you'll die another day, because tonight you're going to live and let die. You think briefly of your old lover, a spy who loved you, who came from Russia with love. But then you shake your head to clear it -- you can think about that tomorrow, because tomorrow never dies.
The full moons rise over the hippy camp, the light from the moons raking everything with golden light. You reach into your pocket with a gold finger, aim with your golden eye, and let fly with a double handful of ferret bait. The ferrets sweep down from the sky like a ball of thunder, turning the hippy camp into a casino royale, where the ante is blood and the house always wins.
You climb down from the yurt, breathing heavily at the workout. Do you need to see a doctor? No. After all, you've lived once, and you're allowed to do it exactly one more time.
Also, Octopussy.
| You gain 50 Beefiness. |
| Gaffle some bait for later |
You grab a double-handful of the ferret bait, check to make sure your pockets aren't full of ferrets, then shove the bait in your pockets. You check to make sure the bait hasn't caused your pockets to fill up with ferrets in the last few seconds, then head off (and you should probably talk to a psychiatrist about your irrational fear of having pockets full of ferrets).
 | You acquire 2-5 handfuls of ferret bait |
| Wake the cadet up and fight him |
War Hippy (space) cadet  -- (edit metadata)
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- With candy cane sword cane equipped:
| Wake the cadet up with your candy cane sword |
You draw your sword from your cane and hold it up to the cadet. Then you smack him with the cane and ask for information about the camp. He points you to the nearest signpost.
Takes you to Blockin' Out the Scenery
Occurs at The Hippy Camp (Verge of War)
References
- The Bonding With War option refers to many James Bond films up to Quantum of Solace.
- The Bonding With War option, particularly "Also, Octopussy," is a reference to the Hollywood edition of Stephen Colbert's "Better Know a District" segment on The Colbert Report. Colbert made a series of references to the titles of Tom Cruise movies, which he integrated into his speech, before pausing and ending with "Vanilla Sky." A similar reference is found in the item description of the Travoltan trousers.
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The Hippy Camp (Verge of War) Choice Adventures | |||||||
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| Bait and Switch | Blockin' Out the Scenery | The Thin Tie-Dyed Line | ||||||
| Take the bait and go wreak havoc | gain 50 Beefiness | The Chill-Out Yurt | gain 50 Magicalness | The Munitions Yurt | 2-5 water pipe bombs | |||
| Gaffle some bait for later | 2-5 handfuls of ferret bait | The Rations Yurt | cruelty-free wine, handful of walnuts, Genalen™ Bottle, mixed wildflower greens, thistle wine | The Rations Yurt | gain 50 Sarcasm | |||
| Wake the cadet up and fight him | fight a War Hippy (space) cadet | (The Lookout Tower / The H.A.S.H. Yurt) | (start the war / nothing) | The Barracks Yurt | Fight a War Hippy drill sergeant | |||
