Broctopus

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Broctopus
Monster ID 1571
Locations The Sunken Party Yacht
Hit Points 500
Attack 375
Defense 300
Initiative 50
Meat 80-120
Phylum fish
Elements sleaze
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, tentacle
Drops
8-billed baseball cap, BROS Energy Drink
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
broctopus You're fighting a broctopus

Octopuses are some of the most intelligent marine creatures. They're so intelligent that they know that proper plural for "octopus" is not "octopi," regardless of how it might seem. Seriously. Look it up.

However, this octopus may not be the sharpest bulb in the box: it stole the popped collars and mirrored shades off of one of the bros on the yacht, and now it's glaring at you pugnaciously.

Hit Message(s):

It pinches your butt with a tentacle. Cheeky! Ow! Oof! Ooh! Argh! (sleaze damage)

It pulls down its mirrored shades and winks lasciviously at you. Gross, man. Ow! Argh! Eek! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

It pops you in the face with its popped collar. Oof! Ouch! Ouch! Eek!

It flexes its tentacles to show you its guns, then slaps you with a couple of them. Argh! Ugh! Eek! Ooh!

It attaches a sucker to your eye and pulls it off quickly, leaving a giant hickey. What a jerk. Ugh! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

It smacks you in the <groin> with a tentacle. It's pretty gross. Ugh! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It wraps all eight of its tentacles (and all ten of its eighticles) around you and gives you a big bro hug. It squeezes way too hard, and smacks your back so enthusiastically it fractures a few of your vertebrae. Eek! Ow! Ooh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It flexes its tentacles, but you didn't buy any tickets to the gun show.

It tries to give you a sucker-hickey, but you're not enough of a sucker to fall for that.

It tries to pinch you with a tentacle, but can't hold on with its suckers.

It tries to pop you with its popped collar, but your dodging skills are poppin' fresh.

It tries to tentacle-smack you, but you dodge.

It winks at you, but you just pretend it's helping you find more meat.

Fumble Message:

Another broctopus swims over and hands your broctopus a bottle of Russian Ice. It takes a tentacle-knee and chugs the whole thing, in accordance with the bro code. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 80-120 Meat (average: 100, stdev: 8.56)*
Brosdrink.gifYou acquire an item: BROS Energy Drink (25% chance)*
6hats.gifYou acquire an item: 8-billed baseball cap (5% chance)*

Occurs at The Sunken Party Yacht.

Notes