The imaginatively named Desert Beach is a desert beach a long way from Seaside Town. In order to get there, you need to have an appropriate form of transportation. Currently, having any one of a bitchin' meatcar, a pumpkin carriage, a tin lizzie, or a Desert Bus pass will give you beach access. Attempts to get there without transportation give the following message:
- "You don't know where a desert beach is."
Locations located here are:
- The Gnomish Gnomads' Camp (Open to Wombat, Blender, and Packrat signs only)
- A Small Pyramid
- Your Tomb (replaces small pyramid as Actually Ed the Undying)
- The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert
- An Oasis
- The Shore, Inc.
- South of The Border
- A Ruined House (on the above map)
- Gnasir's Place
- A Scorching Abyssal Portal (during the Infernal Incursion)
- Mining Camp (during Crimbo 2014)
- Crimbonium Mine (during Crimbo 2014)
- Ferry to Kokomo (with Tropical Contact High)
- The Desert Beach was expanded from a 3x3 grid on January 28, 2007.
- The Mall of Loathing moved here from Seaside Town on October, 26, 2010, to evade the skeleton invasion, replacing the old border image. On October, 26, more locations from Seaside Town relocated to the Desert Beach, creating a town on the border.
- On October 30, 2010, some tectonic activity occurred in the Desert Beach zone. The Oasis, Arid Desert, and Pyramid all found themselves further north of Bordertown, while The Grim Grimacite Site vanished entirely.
- The zone was again revamped on August 30, 2013. It used to look like this:
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- On September 26, 2013, A Scorching Abyssal Portal opened up until September 27, 2013.