Rack of free weights

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Rack of free weights
Monster ID 1486
Locations The Inner Wolf Gym
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie +3 (min 50, max 1000)
Defense Player's Muscle +3 (min 50, max 1000)
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts bar, dumbbell, weight
sweatband, gym shorts, ankleweights, sweat socks, pint of sweat, Jerks' Health™ Magazine, Five Second Energy™
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
rack of free weights You're fighting a rack of free weights

This is a rack of free weights. I mean, they're free once you've paid your gym membership, your personal training fee, your parking fee, and your locker rental.

There are dozens of exercises you can do with a set of weights, but without some neckless, bulging giant looming over you teaching you the proper technique, you're probably doing them all wrong, bro.

Hit Message(s):

You drop a five-pound weight on your toe. Hey, at least it wasn't a ten-pound weight. Oof! Ouch!

You drop a ten-pound weight on your toe. Hey, at least it wasn't a twenty-pound weight. Ooh! Ouch!

You drop a twenty-pound weight on your toe. Hey, at least it wasn't a fifty-pound weight. Argh! Ow!

You try to do a few bench presses, but you don't have a spotter, and you nearly break your own sternum. Ugh! Oof!

You start to work on your lats and your delts, but drop the weight and hit yourself in the toes. Ouch! Ooh!

You do a few lunges, feeling pretty good about your form until your left kneecap pops right off. Argh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

You drop a five-pound weight on your toe, hop around in pain until you knock a ten-pound weight on your toe, lose your balance and fall on the rack, knocking a twenty-pound weight on your toe, looking up just in time for the fifty-pound weight to fall Eek! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

You do a few preacher curls, then say "amen" and put the dumbbell away.

You do a successful curl, feeling the burn in your left bicep and tricep.

You do a few triceps extensions, then ponder getting some hair extensions.

You do a few bench presses, setting a new bench mark for yourself.

You work on your lats and your delts. It's totes adorbs.

You do a few lunges, so you'll be ready for the next time it's someone's birthday.

Fumble Message:

You stop to let your muscles breathe, because that's probably a thing that muscles need to do. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Your inner wolf howls aggresively![sic]
3claws.gif +3 Wolf Offense
Sweatband.gifYou acquire an item: sweatband (1% chance)*
Gymshorts.gifYou acquire an item: gym shorts (1% chance)*
Ankleweights.gifYou acquire an item: ankleweights (1% chance)*
Sweatsocks.gifYou acquire an item: sweat socks (1% chance)*
Moonshine.gifYou acquire an item: pint of sweat (10% chance)*
Jhmagazine.gifYou acquire an item: Jerks' Health™ Magazine (5% chance)*
5secondenergy.gifYou acquire an item: Five Second Energy™ (2% chance)*

Occurs at The Inner Wolf Gym.


  • This monster cannot be copied.