The Altar of Literacy

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The Altar of Literacy is located inside The Temple of Literacy, located within The Big Mountains. One must undergo testing by the Ghost of the English Language before having any access to the chat channels.

The Altar of Literacy
  • Before completion:
As you approach the Altar of Literacy, you see the faint outline of a human figure standing in front of it.
"Hello," says the figure. "I'm the ghost of the English language."
"At this time, you are not allowed to enter the chat. This feature is reserved for those who are members of the Order of the Literate"
"If you wish to gain access to the chat, you must perform a series of tasks in order to prove that you can be trusted with the privileges and responsibilities of the Order."
"First, read the Policies of Loathing".
"Now, type the following sentence into the text box below. Capitalization and punctuation count!"
"Next, you must complete the following sentences..."
When they get [there|their|they're], [there|their|they're] going to put on [there|their|they're] mittens.
[Your|You're] nuts if you think I'm going to polish [your|you're] armor for free.
"Finally, you must answer this fiendishly difficult trivia question: What color was George Washington's favorite black horse?"
  • Failing the test:
Sorry, you didn't type the oath correctly.
You didn't correctly complete one of the Ghost's sentences.
Sorry, you got the trivia question wrong.
  • After completion:
Congratulations! You have demonstrated the ability to both read and write! You have been granted access to the Kingdom of Loathing chat.
  • Subsequent visits:
The ghost of the English language looks up at you.
"You have already proven yourself literate! Go forth, then, and avenge my death!"

#offer the Amulet of Yendor
You're not sure what to do here, so you place the Amulet on the altar and pray.
Suddenly, the voice of some lady thunders: "Uh, dude? Wrong game."
Confused.gifYou acquire an effect: Confused
(duration: 5 Adventures)


  • You gain a new accomplishment in your Quest Log: "You have proven yourself literate."
  • You gain the ability to use chat.




  • In the game NetHack, in order to win the game, the player must offer up for sacrifice the Amulet of Yendor at an appropriately aligned altar.
  • "Some lady" mentioned when offering the Amulet of Yendor may be a reference to The Lady, the deity of the tourist role in NetHack, one of the most tongue-in-cheek, original, and difficult roles in the game.
  • The "fiendishly difficult trivia question" is likely a reference to Groucho Marx and his game show You Bet Your Life. When contestants were doing badly and not getting any questions right, Groucho would have mercy on them and ask them ridiculously easy questions. These included things like "What color is the White House?" and "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?"