Trouser Snake

Trouser Snake
Monster ID	179
Locations	The Hole in the Sky
Hit Points	150
Attack	153
Defense	137
No-Hit	163
Initiative	70
Meat	None
Phylum	constellation
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, star, tail
Drops line, line, line
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting The Trouser Snake

This is the Trouser Snake, so named because it resembles a snake wearing pants. Pants with only one leg. So basically it just resembles a snake.

Hit Message(s):

It pokes you with its forked tongue. Given the end of the tongue is two huge balls of flaming gas, it kinda smarts. Argh! Ooh! Eek! Ow! Ouch! Eek!

It drops its trousers and shows you its reptilian naughty bits. It burns! Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Oof! Ow! Ow! (sleaze damage)

It bites you with its venemous ^[sic] fangs. Fangs for the memories, man. Oof! Argh! Oof! Oof! Ugh! Argh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It whips its tail around lashes you with it! It gives you at least eight or nine long, full, luxuriant lashes before you can stagger away. You haven't been lashed like that since that one time you were lashed to a yardarm. Ouch! Ooh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to poke you with its forked tongue, but you fork it with your poked tongue.

It drops its trousers, but you turn away.

It tries to bite you, but doesn't really have a mouth. It probably still has to scream, though.

Fumble Message:

It starts to whip you with its tail, but somehow gets it stuck in its mouth! It begins to eat itself from the tail up. "Wow," you say. "This is probably some kind of metaphor for something or other." (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: line (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: line (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: line (30% chance)*

You gain 38.25 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Hole in the Sky.

Notes

• Counts as a Snake for the purposes of extracting snake oil.

References

• The Trouser Snake is a reference to the song Isn't it awfully good to have a penis? by Monty Python. The exact line is 'Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake'.
• The third miss text is a reference to I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, a short story by Harlan Ellison.
• The fumble message with the snake eating its own tail being "a metaphor for something or other" refers to the ouroboros.