View source for Uncle P's Antiques

[[Image:uncleps.gif|Uncle P's Antiques|center]]

'''Uncle P's Antiques''' is a store in [[Bordertown]]. It is a thinly disguised front for the [[Penguin Mafia]].

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{| style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
| [[image:shoppeng.gif|Mob Penguin Shopkeeper]]
| style="text-valign: middle; line-height: 1.5;" | <center><b>Uncle P.</b></center><p>Welcome to our Antique Store, which is absolutely, positively a legitimate establishment, and not a front for any sort of criminal activities.</p><p>While our shop was sucked through that Eldritch Fissure we picked up some souvenirs.  Perfectly inert, boring, decorative lumps of raw eldritch matter.  Act fast!</p>
|}

==Items Sold==
{| align="center"
!colspan="2"|Item:||Price:
{{StoreItem|item=antique accordion|price='''2,500'''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=Clancy's crumhorn|price='''2,500'''|desc=(In [[Avatar of Boris]].)|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=fancy black tie|price='''1,000,000'''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=fancy tophat|price='''1,000,000'''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=fancy tuxedo pants|price='''1,000,000'''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item='Villa' document|price='''100,000,000'''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=Mr. Exploiter|price='''1,000,000,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=Mystery Raffle Ticket|price='''10,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=Mob Penguin protection contract|price='''5,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— In Limited Supply! Act Now! —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=antique painting of a landscape|price='''60,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=antique record album|price='''9,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=antique bottle opener|price='''80,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=Antique 8-Bit Power magazine|price='''60,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=antique souvenir drawing|price='''80,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
{{StoreItem|item=antique pair of blue jeans|price='''100,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Limited Supply of Souvenirs —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=Just a lump of inert eldritch matter|price='''5,000,000'''|desc=''(no longer available)''|currImage=y|currency=meat}}
|}

==History==
*For a time, you could once purchase "favors" from the Mafia:
:For 10,000 Meat, we will beat somebody up and break their knees.
:*The victim received 10 Adventures of [[Beaten Up]] and [[Broken Knees]].
:For 20,000 Meat, we will beat somebody up and break both their knees and their familiar's knees.
:*As well as being [[Beaten Up]] with [[Broken Knees]], the victim received 10 Adventures of [[And Your Family, Too]].
:For 60,000 Meat, we will deliver the 20,000 Meat treatment to somebody, and up to three of their friends. If they have any friends, that is.
:*The three friends were taken from the victim's contact list.
:For 100,000 Meat, we will deliver "The Don's Special" to somebody. This one does some... permanent... damage.
:*This gave the victim all three effects, caused them to lose some stats, and put a [[severed rocking horse head|horse's head]] in their bed.
* At this time, Uncle P was selling protection contracts, each of which would cancel out one of the above "favors." For 5,000 Meat, they would tell you how many of these contracts your target had left.
* On November 14, 2004, the price of a [[Mr. Exploiter]] was halved to 500,000,000 Meat, and the [['Villa' document]] to 250,000,000 Meat.
* The shop was eventually [[The Ruins of Uncle P's Antiques|destroyed by a herd of stampeding Yetis]], but was resurrected by [[a Temporal Rift]] on October, 27 2005, but with only [['Villa' document]]s and [[Mr. Exploiter]]s available (at their original prices).
* For [[Crimbo]] 2009, this location was used for [[Don Crimbo's Fundraising Drive]].
* From December 25, 2009 to March 11, 2010, Uncle P's Antiques was closed. Trying to go into it yielded the message:
:"Uncle P's is closed right now."
*Formerly located on the [[Wrong Side of the Tracks]].  Was relocated to [[Bordertown]] during [[A Skeleton Invasion!|the skeleton invasion]].
*From November 1 to November 5, 2016, Uncle P's was swallowed by [[Eldritch Incursion|an Eldritch Fissure]].  When it returned on November 6, it carried [[Just a lump of inert eldritch matter]]. While undergoing a number of name changes during the event, it was later removed from the store.

==Notes==
*In a [[Zombie Slayer]] run, Uncle P's has burned down:
:Uncle P's Antiques has been thoroughly torched. You suspect that the Penguins were probably always ready to do it, in case of federal investigation or a sudden need for insurance money.
[[file:burned2.gif]]

[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category: NPC Stores]]